How to Help Children With Disabilities Handle Waiting and Turn-Taking
“Wait.” For some children, that simple word can be surprisingly difficult. Maybe they’re waiting for their turn on the playground. Maybe another child has the toy they want. Perhaps they’re sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, waiting for food at a café, or waiting for their support worker to arrive. For a child who finds […]
“Wait.”
For some children, that simple word can be surprisingly difficult.
Maybe they’re waiting for their turn on the playground. Maybe another child has the toy they want. Perhaps they’re sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, waiting for food at a café, or waiting for their support worker to arrive.
For a child who finds waiting difficult, even a short delay can lead to frustration, refusal or distress.
It can also be hard for parents. You know that waiting is part of everyday life, but you can’t simply tell your child to “be patient” and expect them to suddenly manage it.
For children with disabilities, waiting and turn-taking can be genuine skills that need to be taught and practised. Communication difficulties, differences in processing, emotional regulation challenges, sensory demands and difficulty understanding time can all make waiting harder.
The good news is that you don’t need to eliminate every difficult situation. You can gradually help your child understand what waiting means, know what to expect and become more comfortable with taking turns.
Why Is Waiting So Difficult for Some Children?
Waiting can look simple from an adult’s perspective. You know that the thing you want is coming eventually.
A child may not have that same sense of certainty.
“Wait” doesn’t tell them whether they need to wait for ten seconds or ten minutes. If they can’t easily understand time, communicate their needs or predict what happens next, the waiting period can feel much longer.
Some children may also struggle with:
- understanding how long something will take
- stopping an immediate response
- coping when someone else gets something first
- communicating “How much longer?”
- managing frustration
- dealing with noise or crowds while waiting
- moving between activities
- waiting for a highly preferred activity
This is why it’s worth looking beyond the behaviour itself.
A child who grabs a toy from another child may not simply be “being impatient”. They may not yet have the skills needed to understand and tolerate another person’s turn.
Start With Very Short Waiting Periods
You wouldn’t expect a child to learn to swim by throwing them into the deep end.
Waiting works much the same way.
If your child finds ten seconds difficult, don’t begin with ten minutes.
Start with a very short, achievable wait.
For example:
“Wait five seconds, then your turn.”
Once your child manages that comfortably, you can gradually increase the time.
The progression might look like:
5 seconds → 10 seconds → 20 seconds → 30 seconds → 1 minute
There’s no need to rush through the stages.
The goal is to give your child repeated experiences of successfully waiting, rather than repeatedly pushing them into situations where they become overwhelmed.
Make Waiting Predictable
Simply saying “wait” isn’t always enough.
Give your child information about what they’re waiting for and what happens afterwards.
Instead of:
“Wait.”
Try:
“First Sarah has her turn, then you.”
Or:
“First we order the food, then we eat.”
This gives waiting a clear sequence.
The child isn’t just being told to stop doing something. They’re learning what happens next.
Use Visual Timers and Other Visual Supports
For children who benefit from visual information, showing the passage of time can be much easier than explaining it verbally.
You could use:
- a visual timer
- a countdown
- a sand timer
- a clock
- a timer app
- pictures showing the sequence
For example, if you’re waiting for a favourite activity, you might show:
Wait → Timer → Activity
A visual schedule can also help when the waiting period forms part of a larger routine.
The important thing is that the support makes the waiting period more concrete.
Try “First, Then”
“First, then” language is particularly useful when your child is waiting for something they really want.
For example:
“First Jack’s turn, then your turn.”
“First shoes on, then playground.”
“First we wait, then we go inside.”
This doesn’t remove the wait. It gives the child a clearer idea of why they’re waiting and what comes next.
Give Your Child Something to Do While They Wait
Waiting can become much harder when there’s nothing to do.
Depending on the situation, your child might:
- look at a book
- use a quiet sensory activity
- listen to music
- play with a small toy
- watch the visual timer
- count down
- look at pictures
- practise a simple breathing activity
This can be especially useful during appointments, shopping trips and other situations where waiting can’t be avoided.
The goal isn’t to distract your child every single time they have to wait. It’s to give them practical ways to manage reasonable waiting periods.
Teach Turn-Taking Through Simple Games
Turn-taking doesn’t have to start with complicated board games.
Simple activities can give children plenty of practice.
Try:
- rolling a ball back and forth
- taking turns adding blocks to a tower
- passing a toy between two people
- taking turns choosing a song
- simple card games
- age-appropriate board games
- taking turns on playground equipment
- cooking together
Keep the activity short enough that your child has a realistic chance of succeeding.
Use simple language:
“My turn.”
“Your turn.”
“Then your turn again.”
Over time, these repeated experiences help make the idea of taking turns more familiar.
Help Your Child Communicate While Waiting
Sometimes the frustration isn’t only about waiting. Your child may not know how to communicate what they need.
Teach useful ways to ask:
“Is it my turn?”
“How long?”
“When?”
“I need help.”
“Can I have a break?”
For children who use AAC, communication boards, gestures or pictures, make sure these concepts are available through their usual communication system.
Giving a child a reliable way to communicate can make waiting feel much more manageable.
Practise Waiting Outside Difficult Situations
If you only practise waiting when your child is already frustrated, you’re starting at the hardest point.
Look for small opportunities during ordinary days.
For example, you might ask your child to wait briefly while you:
- finish pouring a drink
- put something away
- finish a short task
- prepare an activity
- take your own turn in a game
Keep the initial wait manageable.
Then acknowledge the specific skill:
“You waited while I finished. Now it’s your turn.”
This shows your child exactly what they achieved.
What If Your Child Becomes Upset While Waiting?
This is where parents often feel stuck.
The temptation can be to keep explaining:
“You need to wait.”
“I’ve already told you.”
“It’s nearly your turn.”
But once a child is highly distressed, lengthy explanations usually aren’t going to teach the skill.
First, focus on helping them feel safe and settled.
Use fewer words. Keep your voice calm. If possible, reduce noise, crowds or other sensory demands.
If the situation allows, offer a break.
Once your child is calm again, you can return to practising the skill later.
A difficult moment isn’t necessarily the right time for a lesson.
Don’t Expect Waiting to Look the Same Everywhere
Your child might manage a two-minute wait at home but struggle with the same wait at a busy shopping centre.
That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten everything.
The environment can make a big difference.
Waiting in a quiet room is very different from waiting:
- in a crowded shop
- at a noisy playground
- in a busy café
- at a medical appointment
- on public transport
Consider the whole situation, not just the length of the wait.
If your child is already tired, hungry, anxious or overwhelmed by sensory input, waiting may become much harder.
Avoid Making “Be Patient” the Whole Strategy
“Be patient” is an expectation, not a teaching method.
Your child needs to know what patience actually looks like.
Instead of saying:
“Be patient.”
show them:
“Sarah is having a turn. You’re next.”
Then provide a visual cue, timer or activity if needed.
Make the invisible skill visible.
Give Your Child Some Control
Waiting can feel easier when children have some control over what happens during the wait.
For example:
“You need to wait for your turn. Would you like to read or draw while you wait?”
The child doesn’t control when their turn arrives, but they have control over what they do while waiting.
That small amount of choice can make a difference.
How Support Workers Can Help
Support workers can create natural opportunities to practise waiting and turn-taking during everyday activities.
A support worker might help a child:
- prepare for a community outing
- understand the sequence of an activity
- use a visual timer
- practise taking turns during games
- wait for public transport
- take turns at the playground
- communicate when they need help
- recognise early signs of frustration
- gradually increase their tolerance for waiting
The aim isn’t for the support worker to simply tell a child to wait.
It’s to help them understand what they’re waiting for, what happens next and how they can manage the wait.
That approach can support greater participation and confidence across everyday situations.
Signs Your Child Is Making Progress
Progress doesn’t necessarily mean your child suddenly waits perfectly.
Look for smaller changes.
They might:
- wait a few seconds longer
- accept another person’s turn
- ask when their turn is coming
- use a timer independently
- communicate that they need help
- tolerate a small delay without becoming distressed
- recover more quickly after becoming frustrated
- take turns with less prompting
These are meaningful steps.
A child doesn’t need to handle every waiting situation independently for their skills to be developing.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Expecting too much too soon
Build waiting gradually.
Giving vague instructions
“Wait” can be difficult to understand without context.
Ignoring communication needs
Make sure your child has a way to ask questions or request help.
Extending the wait unpredictably
If the child expects a short wait and it suddenly becomes much longer, frustration can increase.
Comparing them with other children
Children develop these skills at different rates.
Treating every struggle as bad behaviour
Look at what the child may be communicating through their response.
Trying to teach during major distress
Regulation and safety come first.
Building the Skill, One Turn at a Time
Waiting and turn-taking are easy to take for granted because adults use them constantly.
For a child who finds these skills difficult, though, “wait” can involve understanding time, controlling an immediate response, managing frustration, communicating needs and trusting that their turn really is coming.
That’s a lot to manage at once.
So keep the early steps simple.
Give your child a clear sequence. Use visual supports when helpful. Start with short waits. Practise through everyday games and activities. Give them ways to communicate. And when a situation becomes overwhelming, focus on helping them regulate rather than turning it into a battle.
The goal isn’t to make your child endlessly patient.
It’s to help them become more confident with the ordinary pauses, changes and shared experiences that come with participating in family life and the wider community.
